yellowjackets and papas...

so kev and i decided we'd eat at my most very favorite restaurant, the garage, yesterday afternoon. God decided to give montana a little break from the blizzards and gave us this beautiful afternoon of 75 degree weather and the garage has outside seating and so, kev and i took full advantage.

as always - the food was amazing. i'm talking amazing, amazing. i love the garage soup shack. soup from the shack, even on a 75 degree day, makes the world go round.

then my mom called. she was in town and decided she would join us. so she got there and placed her order and everything was great. there was only one problem - yellowjackets. boooo. and they were all over the place. me? i didn't care. i was too busy enjoying my lunch but my mom on the other hand was going nuts. i mean coo-coo-pants. everytime a yellowjacket would get close she'd jerk her body around as if she were having a major seizure and then if that didn't work she'd start swatting. mind you, here we are, this beautiful day out on the patio surrounded by the other 30+ tables and here's mamacita - losing her mind over the bees. (sidenote: apparently she was stung about 10 years ago and her jerking/seizure methods have worked since then). so i calmly say to one mamacita, "ummm, yo, mama... be cool my baby. if you don't bother them, they don't bother you." so right after i finish my sentence one starts flying around her head and she closes her eyes (tightly) and starts to shut down... or so i think (as pictured below): the bee flew around for a second and i said, "ummm, mom... he's gone." she ignores me. i briefly looked at kevin, whos face was red from holding in the monster laugh he was about to let loose and then i say, "MOM... HE'S GONE." to which she replies, "i was praying." bwaahahahaha! seriously gotsa' love the mama.

so after that little yellowjacket episode (and my 4th ice tea) i decided i needed to go potty. so i go on into the garage and head to the rest room. this is where it happened friends. i stooped to a brand new low. as i was approaching the rest room i noticed this very nice looking old man (you know the type... sun shade hat to block the sun off his head, big ole' sun shades to go over his regular glasses, hawaiian shirt, long pants, velcro shoes, 80+ years old) very obviously looking around for the bathroom. we were both directly in front of the unisex bathroom door... he was there first people... but i knew where it was. so i cut him off at the pass. that's right... i barged on in and quickly shut the door.

it should make you a little less judgemental to know that i did hurry. i really did. and when i came out, he smiled. maybe he didn't even realize what i had done. (i'm going to stick with this story...)

gotta love lunch at the garage on a tuesday afternoon. :)

who's baby is bigger?

i absolutely adore my nieces and nephews. that said, i had a particularly eventful weekend with my seven year old niece kenedy. she is obsessed with my belly and the fact that there is a baby in there. so obsessed, in fact, that she often comes over to me sticks out her belly and says, "look! i gotta' baby in my belly!" and then laughs hysterically.

she just recently got to the point where she remembers that kevin and i are naming our baby nora. she always recognizes that nora rhymes with dora and can't help but calling her "nora the explorer." at easter dinner she told my mom, "i know what the baby's name is." and my mom said, "oh really? what is it?" and kenedy said, "nora!" and my mom said, "what's her middle name?" stumped her. she looked up, obviously hard in thought, and replied, "dora the explorer! her name is nora dora the explorer!" she's so crazy. :)

when i was about, ummmm, 12 weeks pregnant she said, "ummm, can i have your baby if you don't like it?" i said, "well, i suppose you can if i don't like it." obviously joking... but she took it as fact and often tells complete strangers, "she's got a baby in her belly and if she doesn't like it she's going to give it to me." yep. gotta love seven year olds.

anyway, kev captured the cutest picture of my pregnancy this weekend and it's just toooo good not to share. so, without further ado:

here we are, in all our glory. me and kenedy comparing our "baby" bellies. is she not the cutest little thing you've ever seen? :)

i can't wait to have one of my very own. :)

rockin' the papa shoes!

mmk, no frontin'. i'm swollen. i thought i would avoid this lovely part of pregnancy where my feet and calves swell up and lose their ability to circulate my blood as they should but nope... no such luck.

and so, friends, with this swelling comes set-backs. my shoes no longer fit as they should so i had no choice but to pursue other avenues. this, friends, is what i came up with (and yes, i took it off, set it on my desk and took the picture for no other reason than for you to see it):


yep. your eyes are not deceiving you. these are the same shoes that my papa rocked the last 20 years of his life. the cloth slip-on. except my version has very colorful skulls on them because i'm bad to the bone. oh yeah baby. i wore these to work today. and i plan on wearing them again tomorrow and most likely the next day too. they are cloth and comfortable. now i know why my papa rocked them. and i love him even more for it. i just wish he was still around to sport the skull version... (haha - funny visual huh meme?).

my boss was like, "ummm... those are colorful shoes mckenzie." i said, "why yes dean. they are. they most certainly are." bwaaahahahaha! :)

and God said, "give out floor! pregnant lady comin' through"

mmkay, let me begin by saying so sorry for the three week hiatus. i know three weeks in blog time translates to about five years... but i've been really busy. and there was a brief stint within this major lapse in blogland that i had the flu. and then there was koinonia... i've been busy, pregnant, sick and tired. please give me a pass. :) thank you.

so there really is no time to catch you up, so we'll just start fresh, from today. i had a doctor appointment today. since my last appointment (2 1/2 weeks ago) i've gained a pound. yep, that's right. one pound. eat your heart out. :) i was pretty happy. well, until i laid my big ole' pregnant arse onto the table in the room. my doctor says, "ohhh, you've certainly got a big belly! let's measure that baby, mmk?" ummm, ok. whatev. so she measures me and says, "well, everything looks good but you're measuring at 34 weeks. you're 31 weeks, right?" i said, "yep. 31 weeks last saturday." so she then proceeded to tell me that if i were still measuring 3 weeks ahead we'd take a look at nora at the next appointment and do a "dating" scan. soooo... i suppose i could potentially be going into labor a little sooner than planned. i'll keep you posted on that situation as it progresses.

that said, when i returned from work i was greeted by my co-worker, heather. she very excitedly said, "soooo? how'd it go? do you have a picture?" (**sidenote: heather has no babies and is a little obsessed with ultrasound pictures. i can't count on both hands how many times i've told her i don't get a "picture" everytime i go and also that i probably won't be getting anymore "pictures" until i take them of my born baby in a couple months). mmk, so i say, "well, i'm a biggin' and no i don't have a picture." she laughs. i said, "no, i'm serious. i'm measuring about three weeks ahead." and at about this moment i feel the floor beneath my feet give way. yes, i'm serious. i look down and realized i had been standing on the heater vent in my office and i had just fell through. yes people... i fell through the mother-loving heating vent at the exact moment i told heather i was measuring three weeks ahead of schedule. classy, no?

so i sat there... mortified. and since heather was looking at me and heard the very obvious ::thud:: when the heater vent gave way i had no choice but to address the issue. so i said, "well. i just fell through the floor." she laughed. and so did i... because seriously, that's pretty funny. and the timing. great job God - couldn't have produced a more perfect moment for an almost 8 month pregnant lady to fall through the floor myself.

and then she did the most generous thing anyone has ever done for me. and i mean that. she, in her 125 lb glory, got up from her chair, walked over to the heater vent, stood on it and pressed her heel into the vent and broke it... same as i had just done. and she says, "well, see... i broke it too. you're not fat. it was just the heel on your shoe." i hugged her... through tears. and then we laughed as we had never done before.


and above you will see that glorious heater vent we smashed up. about half way through you'll see two little rungs that are just demolished. one for me and one for skinny, not pregnant heather. :) that is why i will miss my job. thank you heather. thank you very much.

oh... and dean (my boss) if you read this... the heater vent on the side of the filing cabinet was damaged by a big heavy box of dead files that accidentally fell onto the vent a long time ago. we did not swap it out for the one pictured above. no sir, we did not do that.

you gotta fight for your right... to potty.

women have this unspoken, unwritten law about potty etiquette.

if in the event you go into a public bathroom having to go number two - you walk in, scope out the scene and make sure you're alone. if you are alone, all systems are go. if you're not alone, you quietly walk into the stall, sit down, go number one and wait politely for your neighbor to get up, wash their hands and leave before letting er' rip. it's just the way of the world, yes?

well... i walked into the bathroom at the hospital today, scoped the scene and realized that i wasn't alone. so, following all set etiquette, i sat down, tinkled and waited for the woman with the velcro shoes next to me to get up and leave. but she didn't and i quickly realized i had forgotten the second part of the law. if in the event you are interrupted while doing your business, you do all you can to shut it off while you are in company of a potty stall neighbor. so here we were... me stuck in the first addendum of the law, her stalled at the second. we were at a stalemate. great. i had an appointment... i realized i couldn't wait. so... i did what i had to. sorry velcro shoe lady.

ugh to multiple bathroom stall bathrooms.

also... on that note: i'm getting bigger, this is no secret. therefore it is no longer an easy task for me to maneuver myself and my lulabelle belly in and out of the stalls. clearly bathroom stalls were (poorly) designed by men as if they had been designed by women they would function properly for both pregnant and non-pregnant women and open out instead of in. seriously...

i'm such a stinkin' wimp!

so... as posted below i had my gestational diabetes test on friday (to which i passed, thank you very much). well... in my excitement over my cake, i left out some of the gory details. like the mother-loving lab phlebotomist who needs more practice on an orange. she was a jammer-inner and a ripper-outter. but don't worry. my arm vein took it's own revenge when it just about squirted her coat. this is about the time i dang near passed out. (yes, i'm serious).

i'm not sure that getting blood drawn has hurt like this... ever. i do recall one event long ago in which i had to be poked about 20 times to get an IV in that hurt much worse... but this was up there on the hurt-o-meter. and... i still have a bruise. and i'm a whiner. a wimp. and... reality check: i'm getting an epidural.

yes. this is a three day old bruise. but i'm still going to whine about it. and... holy crap... i just realized how full my inbox is. ack. i better get on that... booo.

gestational diabetes and cake...

this summer i ate the most magnificent cupcake i've ever had in my life. while at the bite of bozeman i came across the super-cupcake confection from sweet pea bakery. it was a raspberry lemonade cupcake made from scratch. i seriously can not put into words how good this sucker was. thick, creamy raspberry frosting (and lots of it) over a moist lemonade cake bottom... mmmm.

mmk, fast forward to wednesday. since i've been pregnant i've been dreaming about this cupcake. i'm talking literally. i go to bed and i dream about eating this cupcake and can sometimes taste the pastry perfection.

in a moment of weakness, i decided that i'd stop in at the sweet pea bakery this week and just see what they had... all the while secretly praying to God that someone at the bakery had the urge to bake my sweetly perfect raspberry lemonade cupcakes. no suck luck. shocker. so as i was walking away from the counter... obviously looking defeated, the nice young man behind the counter said, "you know... we can make them for you on a special order." whooo hooo! so i said, "great! how many do i have to order?" and he replied, "at least a dozen." awww crap. seven months in and i've already gained 34 pounds (ack!) so i said, "well, i really don't need that many." and he said, "well, did you know that we make raspberry lemonade cakes?" whoo hooo again! i said, "i most certainly did not! let's do it!" somehow ordering one cake made me feel a little better about myself than ordering 12 cupcakes... no comments about this please. :) so i ordered and agreed to pick up the cake this afternoon. i've been waiting for today to come for 48 looooong hours. :)

mmk, you are finally up to speed. fast forward to today. i had a doctor appointment today and my gestational diabetes test was scheduled to be done this morning. ever since i ordered myself a whole entire raspberry lemonade cake i've been a little concerned about the results of the test coming back positive and then i'd have to watch my lovely hubs kev eat MY cake. sooo, when i went into the docs office this morning i said, "dr. augustyn, i have something to tell you. it's important. i take my prenatal everyday, without fail. even though i often eat too many burritos in a weeks time i do try to watch what i eat. i haven't had a drop of booze or even so much as an aspirin in the seven months i've been pregnant." she said, "ok. sounds good..." i continued, "i ordered a cake. i pick it up this afternoon and i'm eating it regardless of my diabetes test results." she said, "mckenzie, you are going to be a terrible mother. how could you even think of eating the cake without getting the results of your gestational diabetes test? don't you understand what eating a lot of sugar at this point could do to your fetus? you should just consider adoption." ok, ok... she didn't say that. that's what i was expecting her to say. gotcha. she said, "sounds great. enjoy." HAHAHAHA. :) perfect. so - that, friends, is exactly what i did:yep... that is me and my cake. thank you sweet baby Jesus for inspiring someone at the sweet pea bakery to come up with this confection. it was everything i remembered it to be.

oh, and i passed my 1 hour test with flying colors. no gestational diabetes for this cake-eatin' mama. :)